The Leading John Lyons Certified Natural Horsemanship Trainer In San Diego
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By Beth Collins
After 7 years of my horses right outside the kitchen window, I find myself
boarding once again. The three critters have settled comfortably in a perfectly
strange environment for them, while I have wrestled with the guilt of enjoying
mornings not mucking out! As all changes in life, I look at this new situation as a
learning experience. My fellow boarders are teaching me a lot about horses and
interpersonal relationships.
Having my own place was insulating, and lets face it, safe from all the standard
ideas that the wild and wonderful world of horses offers. It was Lyons nirvana. I
didn’t have to hear the volume of non- partnership language that I am saturated
with daily now. (Those of you who have cliniced with me know what happens to
non-partnership users at a workshop….PAY ME!) It’s truly shocking. Yet once
my ears stopped burning and I unclamped my teeth from my tongue, I started to
hear patterns.
Fear, frustration, loss, guilt. All, real, hairy emotions. These folks aren’t unusual
or special in their feelings, It’s all completely natural. They are stuck. I was once
stuck, so we have a lot in common. I began to look for ways to reach these folks,
of course its all hypothetical. Quietly existing in my mind and now in this article.
You see many of these people don’t believe they can make a difference in the
lives of their horses, let alone become trainers. Even those who have sought out
new ways, limit their success with skepticism.
Two examples come to mind. One is a professional horse person who has a horse
that she finds particularly perplexing. “ He is such a great horse. Beautiful
mover, sweet, just skitzo! If he would just not be such a dingbat, and keep his
head about him, I wouldn’t have to push him so hard. I felt bad for him and gave
him extra, special attention when I was done but……I hated to do that to him, he
is such a nice horse.”
The other person is a beginner with a horse that is not broke. She is under
saddle, and can be “ridden” in a tie down with a shank bit.. “I’m selling her, It’s
just not fun and I don’t know enough to train a young horse, I just want to ride. I’m
not a professional. She was just so sweet and pretty. You saw her she bucked
me off.”
What do these two have in common? Everything! The difference being only the
excuses they use. I know excuse is a harsh word but lets cut right to the chase.
One believes he cannot acquire the tools to make a difference and the other
believes she has the tools but they may not work on this horse do to his mental
state. Both clearly are afraid and frustrated. Listen to yourselves and your fellow
horseman next time you are at your barns, practice hearing the real problem and
then give yourselves a quiz. See if you can work up a lesson plan to solve that
problem. If its your problem, use the lesson plan if its another persons problem
keep it to yourself as a learning experience, sharing your new found
enlightenment, may get you slugged! Watch those hard to watch lessons where
the horse is not succeeding and learn from those. It will give you a whole new
perspective on your own lessons.
Be vigilant guys, leave all those negative thoughts and emotions in the barn.
Don't use those non-partnership words, and don’t allow others to use them in
reference to your horse either. They are nothing but excuses dressed in insulting
language that hinders your ability to solve the problem. And isn’t that we all feel
would make our lives with our horses more enjoyable? If he just didn’t have this
one problem. Wish I had a dollar for as many times as I’ve heard that. Wait a
minute, maybe I’m charging for the wrong thing! Keep consistent and happy
trails!
Copyright 2003 Beth Collins
